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Adventure Romance: Get Her Into Your Sport
Have you ever been called an adrenaline junkie? Maybe an extreme sports fanatic, or maybe just crazy? I’m sure you outdoor freaks have a loose screw somewhere that makes you want to jump 20 feet downhill on a mountain bike or go on a 7-day kayaking trip. Even if by most standards you’re clinically insane, chances are you still have the same desires as fat-free, foam-free city dwellers. Specifically, you dream of the day when you will have an amazing girl in your life, the type of girl you could spend hours chatting with endlessly, one who would occupy your thoughts throughout the day, and one you would constantly lust after. . Have you ever thought beyond that and wondered how you would fit this wonderful woman into all the different facets of your life? Probably not. How the hell are you going to convince your new girlfriend to do the downhill trail in Whistler or go camping in the winter? How to get your new girlfriend to practice your favorite sport?
Women can be a volatile bunch, some more sensitive than others, all needing similar things from you. Every woman needs her man to be patient, supportive, and understanding, especially when pushing her comfort zones by trying new sports. These may seem like regular traits that most people have, but in my experience and that of all my girlfriends, sometimes men forget the basics in the heat of battle.
Here’s the thing: men with their buddies will practically kill themselves to prove their manhood and never dare to take on a challenge. Women are NOT like that. We want to feel safe, in control, and above all appreciated for stepping up to your reviews. Be gentle at first, and let’s get comfortable. Going slow for the first few rides will ensure future rides and a lot less frustration for both parties. It’s great that you want us to go to your level. After all, it only took you 3 broken arms, a fractured collarbone and an ACL reconstruction to get where you are. Of course, on the very first ride, we might not be thrilled to drop off your favorite cliff or bike in Squamish and back.
Here are some tips for getting your wife into your sports.
Ask first before planning. Find out if she would be interested in doing something with you. (Tip, tell her how much you’d like to include her in that part of your life; women love to hear that kind of stuff. Then mention that there’s this beautiful gazebo she just needs to see. Sell- him the romantic aspect… it’s a safe bet.)
Consider your wife’s lifestyle. If she is adventurous, she may want more than if she is a shy and quiet person. If she has led a sheltered life, instead of traveling the world, she may need more or less encouragement.
Take it easy and don’t suggest anything crazy. Let her set the tone. Don’t roll your eyes, complain that “you’re not even working hard” or ride ahead for a while to “work out”. Remember that the goal is to get her into your sport, not to get her dumped on you because you were a jerk.
Be patient and give suggestions, not commands. Don’t bark at her to slow her down or keep her head up. Be nice to cry out loud, she works hard for you!
Gradually try harder things. After some downtime, suggest a new lead that you think is ready for right now. That’s the key: tell her you’ve seen her improve and think she’s going to really enjoy this one. Be sure to tell her that if at any point she doesn’t like it, you can stop (very important – probably once she gets there she’ll be fine, but just knowing it will make it less intimidating).
Tell her how much you enjoy her company and how excited you are to try something she likes (don’t worry, you don’t have to go to ballet, she might forget you mentioned it).
Then take her out for a nice dinner or a drink and tell her how sexy you thought she looked climbing that hill or trudging through the river. Second round guaranteed.
Wait 3 days before talking about it again (i.e. don’t ride her or harass her into dating again until she’s had time to eliminate the lactic acid from his legs).
Most women want to do things to make their boyfriend happy and proud. She’s going to want praise for going with you and working hard. Even if she cracked up, tell her how awesome it was. Even if she’s been bitching nonstop (hey, some women just won’t work out), tell her you had fun (and make a mental note to never ask her again). The key is to let her know how nice it was to spend time with her doing something you love. Tell him you want to help him get better, and maybe even buy him a new outfit or a super comfy saddle for his bike (this will actually help, because chances are his seat bones will hurt him). wrong, and she won’t want to…).
To get what you want, you have to work for it. If you want your new girlfriend to play your favorite sport, you’ll need to be patient, reassuring, and grateful. Push, but only push if she responds well to a challenge. Remember, if you ever want to take her out again, take it easy (easy on her, not yours) on the first outing. Building for bigger and better things. Build the trust and unity that is sure to come from physically challenging her and your relationship. It may seem like a lot of work, but if done right, you could end up like my dad and his wife, who cycled together through Italy, the Mohave Desert, and many other crazy places. Look at the price, guys, even when she hates you for rolling her 100 miles in the wind without stopping. Even worse, if you can’t get her to do what you want, punish her so she knows how hard it is and maybe gives you a massage when you get back!
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