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Online Dating Should Be an Olympic Sport
The program of the Olympic Games includes 26 sports, 30 disciplines and nearly 300 events. It is a global event with monumental interest and cultural significance in our world. As such, I would like to formally submit online dating/encounters to the International Olympic Committee for consideration for inclusion as an Olympic sport for the 2012 or 2016 games.
Think this is just another dumb idea from your friends in the online dating world? Consider this:
Olympic sports are governed by International Sports Federations (IFs) which are in turn recognized by the International Olympic Committee (IOC) as the global supervisors of their respective sports. In simple terms, this means that the IOC big dog leaves the FI little dogs to handle everything locally. Well, such a little dog already exists in the online dating world in the form of reputable online dating sites. That’s right, there are reputable dating websites that are good enough to be called established “federations”. These websites may be the world’s governing body for online dating! It was the first step. Now all that remains is to convince the IOC that online dating is a sport.
In terms of Olympic competition, think about it, we could categorize the online dating world into male and female, and then break it down into specific weight classes, or even personality types within those weight classes. These men and women would then compete with each other physically (by flirting), intellectually (by questioning) and visually (physical appearance). It’s the perfect mix of a sport. The winning gold medalist will have to spend years training in the gym to be physically healthy, spend years in school or the library “learning” to become smart, and behind all the muscle and misogynistic intellect, always be graceful in delivery and presence. The winner of the online dating would be the perfect athlete, Opus Olympian.
Not convinced this would work? Maybe your mind will change after reading this:
In October 2004, the IOC established an Olympic Program Commission whose job was to review all existing sports and other unrecognized Olympic sports. In this review, the aim was to apply a systematic and categorical approach to each sport and assess whether or not it met the criteria for inclusion in the Olympics as a recognized Olympic sport. This commission proposed seven criteria to judge whether a sport should be included or not.
1) History and tradition of Sport
3) Popularity of the sport
5) Athlete Health
6) Development of the International Federation that governs the sport
7) Costs associated with accommodation/sport practice
My friends, the above seven criteria are what a sport or discipline must meet to be considered for inclusion in the Olympic Games. Period.
Do online dating meet these 7 criteria? Let’s find out:
1) History and tradition – Check! Dating is the oldest tradition on the planet that existed before all current Olympic sports.
2) Universality – Check! I’m pretty sure that dating and the sport of interpersonal communication and saving has universal appeal. I mean, we do it every day!
3) Popularity of the sport – Check! I would say the encounters were quite popular. Is not it? Everyone does it. Even animals. I don’t see penguins playing football or baseball, but I do see them dating.
4) Picture – Check! Dating is all about attraction and reflecting a positive and beautiful self-image. Those who play the sport of dating give off the highest level of image to any sports image or sports athlete! Who likes to date a hot, rude, dirty human being? Puhleeze.
5) Athlete Health – Check! Dating athletes date, and date often. As such, they take their own health very seriously. Education about sexually transmitted diseases begins at a young age, and practicing safer sex to maintain good sexual health is part of the daily routine for those who date.
6) Development for the International Federation that governs the sport: Check! The International Online Dating Federation, a reputable dating site, would have a lot to gain from online dating being included in the Olympics.
7) Low cost of sportswear: Check! How much does it cost to look at the person next to you and strike up a conversation?
In conclusion, online dating meets all the criteria for inclusion as an Olympic sport, in many ways better than existing Olympic sports. Consider Curling – Who Does It Help? And fencing? Serious people…how on earth is crushing someone with a piece of wire going to benefit people or project a good self-image? Leave me alone.
So, without further ado, I would like to officially submit online dating to the International Olympic Committee for consideration and recognition as a recognized Olympic sport in 2012 or 2016…or even 2020. I’m not picky.
Thank you so much.
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