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Dating Tips For Girls – How to Find and Keep Your Perfect Man

Where to find a date:

• Your school, university, or workplace: Yes, many romances have started with a scribbled note on a paper airplane tossed across the classroom or a cheeky email from the sales guy offering to help you review your stats . But remember, everyone will know when you’re in a relationship. Don’t pretend you can keep it a secret – they will find out, trust me. And of course, everyone will know if you break up too. Plus, you’ll have to see your ex every day after that. Regarding the crush on your teacher, lecturer or boss. Nope! Nope! Nope!
• Places the guys go: game stores, sports grounds, pubs with cheap beer and Sky TV. The only problem is that some guys might be too engrossed to notice you there even if you danced naked in front of them.
• Internet Dating: The good news is that it has removed the stigma of sad lonely hearts that dating agencies used to have and can be a cool and fabulous way to find a date. A lot of people I know even met The One like that. But remember, people can and do say porkies online. And post absurdly flattering photos. So the fit young boy you expected to meet might turn out to be a fifty-five-year-old accountant with halitosis. Or worse, a dodgy character with a scarred face, black teeth, and a suspicious sauna business. So be careful and remember your online safety rules if you don’t want to be disappointed. Or dismembered.

What not to do on a date:

• Before the date, do not experience major changes in appearance, especially your hair. So no “funky” haircuts that will make you look like a butch lesbian unless that is what you are aiming for. And no poodle perm. Please.
• Don’t wear anything too uncomfortable or tedious on the day, like this “miracle” strapless bra that will come down to your waist and pop out under your sweater.
• Or something too outrageously sexy. No black lace bustiers or crotchless red leather skirts. You don’t want to look like you’re charging by the hour.
• On the other hand, don’t wear little feminine stuff either. Glittery headbands or pink plastic jewelry are for the kids – if you’re old enough to go on a date, you don’t need them.
• On the date, don’t talk about your ex, your purchases, or your personal problems. He doesn’t want to know.
• And never do any of that. Get drunk. Tell dirty jokes. Sleep with him. Sorry, but your mom was right, if you want a second date, act like a nice girl – at least at first.

What to do during an appointment:

• Wear discreetly sexy clothes – the little black dress or your favorite butt-flattering jeans.
• Look your best, be approachable and smile a lot. OK, now I realize this advice won’t sit well with some feminists and I’d like to say that guys don’t care about looks and just want girls to be smart, informed and witty but hey. . . there must be a reason Brad Pitt and Daniel Craig aren’t taking my calls.
• Guys like to talk about themselves, so encourage them. Try asking questions like, “So tell me, how often do you need to practice soccer, rugby, ludo, winks (whatever) to become as good as you are?” And OK, I know that sounds like horrible aunt agony. So completely corny. Sooo totally works like a dream. Try it.
• Listen to your date. I repeat listen to your appointment. Guys love attention. Either way, you wanted to get to know him, didn’t you? And he will find your interest attractive. Very.

If you do all of that, chances are it’ll all go wonderfully well at night, but there’s no guarantee when it comes to romance, you might just want to check it out. .

Signs that a date is going badly:

• He doesn’t show up.
• He shows up but after twenty minutes he gets a phone call from a friend telling him he has to leave immediately because of an unlikely “urgent” problem. His apartment is on fire, his grandmother has lost her hip prosthesis or he has to take his parakeet to the dentist. Whatever the excuse, it’s his pre-arranged “get out of a bad date” plan. You might also consider using this trick.
• He spends all his time ogling other girls.
• He has well-groomed nails, is very interested in fashion, and spends all his time ogling the handsome bartender.
• And run for the hills if it looks very lively but. . .
• His hobbies include things like making matchstick models of the Taj Mahal, speaking Klingon, or collecting anything – stamps, model cars, train schedules – it doesn’t matter. It will bore you for no reason.
• He believes in flying saucers, corn rings or levitating monks. No matter. The guy is either very stupid or really weird.
• He confides that he can’t pick you up from your home because you live less than ten miles from his ex and she took out a restraining order against him.

 And finally…

Sign that the date is fine.

Oh come on now, you don’t need anyone’s advice on this. You’ll know. Have a wonderful time. .

About me 

I write funny romance novels mostly for teenagers, but a lot of adults also read them so they can look back and laugh (or cringe). For many years I taught science in secondary schools in Glasgow, so the teenagers, their teachers and their parents were my world. Write about what you know, they say, so I did. Most of the things that happen in my stories are inspired by real events that happen to me or people I know. But the characters are entirely fictitious of course so former students, colleagues, parents and their lawyers have nothing to fear. Frankly.

You can find out more about me and my books and read other fun things on my website: www.lizrettig.com

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