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Recreational Companionship in a Marriage Can Be Very Important to Him

Do you remember when you were dating your partner you are married to now? Do you remember all the things you did together? Are you doing these things now or have your worlds separated over the years? You may find that you do things together, but they are different things than when you first met and dated.

According to the book “His Needs Her Needs” by Willard F. Harley, Jr., recreational companionship is a vital emotional need for most men and could be for women in relationships as well. He goes on to say that he has advised many couples who tell in their most honest moments that (for men in particular) having their spouse as a playmate is very important to them. Dr. Harley says women often participate in sporting events and outings with their spouse when dating, but often try to get him interested in their activities after marriage. Importantly, he claims that “recreational time with his wife is second only to sex for the typical husband”.

It seems that when we start dating, we go on all sorts of outings with our potential spouse because we want to be with them all the time. Then it seems like down the road, we find that we don’t go on those rides together anymore. Our spouse can still enjoy those same interests, but often they can find other people to fill the need for companionship for this event or drop out of the sport altogether without your involvement.

Some of the typical recreational events that a man enjoys are sporting events such as football, baseball, boxing, hunting, fishing, racing, and water sports. Women tend to favor cultural events such as movies, shopping, dinners and dancing as typical recreational choices. Knowing the importance of your participation in your spouse’s recreational events can help you meet their needs as a partner. A balance of time between the two types of recreational events would be optimal companionship for any relationship.

Ask your spouse about his needs in this area of ​​recreational companionship to find out how much he places your stake in his interests. Dr Harley says he has had many challenges to his claims on this subject and couples have claimed that even if a husband continues his sporting events with other men, the relationship does not suffer. He says he has advised many couples who, at first glance, have maintained an excellent image, but underneath, really want the company of their spouse. Personally, I can attest that my husband and I fished together when we dated and then continued our marriage with the sport for several years. Over the years our fishing time together has even decreased to a complete stop over the past year. What is quite interesting to me is the fact that he listed fishing with me as one of his goals for this year. You could say he has my full attention on this case now.

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